Coping With Criticism
Now, criticism is often unfair - and when it is we need to counter it by putting our own case succinctly and calmly. But some criticism is justified - and when we're sensible we can learn from it. Often when we're criticized, we're so hurt that we start excusing ourselves and rebutting what's being said without really listening to it. A mature, self-possessed person listens to criticism without interrupting. If there are aspects to the criticism that are valid, just begins by agreeing with those points. If you’re unsure what's being said, ask for clarification. If indeed you are wrong, say so and apologize. But if you disagree with the criticism, smile and says: 'I'm afraid I don't agree with you.' Now, it takes quite a lot of practice to feel and act this cool. So let's go through it again. When someone criticizes you: listen - don't interrupt or start excusing yourself agree - where possible ask for clarification when you're wrong, admit it and apologize if criticism is wrong or unfair say: 'I'm afraid that I don't agree with you' Now, let's look at giving criticism, because people with poor-self esteem often find it harder to dish out criticism than receive it. In fact many adults actually avoid promotion because they can't face the prospect of being in authority and having to criticize others. So, how can you learn to criticize when you have to? First of all, keep calm. Second, try to make your criticism at an appropriate time, rather than waiting till you're so fed up that you're furiously angry - when you'll be bound to make a mess of it. Take some deep breaths when you know you've got to criticize someone. Then try a technique called the ‘criticism sandwich'. This means that you say something nice to the person you’re criticizing, then you insert the criticism, then you end with something else that nice or positive or flatter. You might notice that people, who are good and fair when they criticize, tend to use the word 'I' rather than the word 'you'. This is because the word 'I' shows you're in control and that you've thought about what you're saying. All too frequently when we're out of control we don't say anything initially, which is when we should address the problem. Instead we bottle it up till we explode. Then we use the words 'you', 'you're' and 'your' all the time. We say: 'You're lazy.' Or 'You make me sick.' These kinds of phrases sound very angry and accusatory. They also show that we're not in control. And after uttering them we generally feel worse about ourselves and our self-esteem plummets even more. So just to recap, when criticizing: use the word 'I', not the word 'you' keep calm and do some deep breathing use the ‘criticism sandwich’ technique always try to criticize a person's behavior rather than the person These tips are just as handy when it comes to standing up for yourself in other situations. And they're very useful when you want to be able to say 'no' without feeling guilty. Just keep calm and use the word 'I'. Say: 'I won't be coming to that party with you.' Or: Or; 'I can't work late tonight, I'm sorry. But if necessary I'll happily stay tomorrow.' And never, ever apologize for saying no. It’s your right – exercise it. People with poor self-esteem are always getting talked into doing things that they don't want to do. Does this sound like you? If so, it must stop if you want to value yourself more. So learning how to stay calm and just say 'no' is very important. Now that we’ve looked at different ways you can combat low self-esteem, our next section is the quick start guide. It’s packed with tips on how to start raising your self-esteem – right now! |
Sponsored Ads:Related Articles:
Happiness / True Happiness: Is It Possible? Positive Thinking / Examples Of Positive Thinking Anger Management / The Pertinent Role Of Anger Management Counseling Self Esteem / Overcoming Dissociation Happiness / Life Liberty And The Pursuit Of Happiness: How Can It Pay Off? Self Improvement / Focus On Your Mental And Emotional Side To Gain Self Improvement Anger / Anger Management Tip Ideas That Work Life Coach / Life Coaching: Assisting People In Achieving Personal Goals Positive Self Talk / Removing Obstacles With Positive Self Image Talk And Positive Thinking Anger Management / Effective Anger Management Help Anger Management / The Interruptions Of Anger Positive Self Talk / Kicking The Habit In Self Talk And Positive Thinking Time Management Tips / Time Management For College Athletes Emotional Intelligence / The Elements Of A Good Emotional Intelligence - Ppt Presentation Time Management Tips / Teaching Your Disabled Students About Time Management Also In This Category:
Self Esteem - What is Self-Esteem? - Maximize Your Potential Through Self-Esteem Lessons - Focusing The Mind On The Positive - Positive Affirmations - Self-Nurturing - Overcoming Dissociation - Who gets low self-esteem? - Stop Underestimating Your Worth - The Offspring'S "Self-Esteem" - Overcoming Intimidation - Calling Out “The Troops” - Building Self Esteem On Your Offspring - Don't apologize for your actions - Dispelling Fears For A More Positive Outlook - 10 Tips to Improving Self-Esteem Currently Online :10 member(s), 22 guest(s): AbstractCat, DawnsAwaken, Dyllon, Eatsnow, Eclipse, Freedom, KittyInCollinder, LostMarbles, pricklycharacter, Scorpion, Ask Jeeves, Google, MSN.com, Slurp Search : |
No comments yet
new capable training needles harmony no gain results motivation bu term yellow stuff vitamin give lists advancements natural fully adult e things employ star 60 maxim game music friends in tightening intimidating elderly clock human endowment management effort books temptation types demands tailing question bodies columbia diagnosis efficiency financial doesn organization
Categories: Make Life Long Friends Overcoming Fear Relaxation Overcoming Shyness Vision Board Self Defense Tips Get Organized Gratitude Memory Changing your Life Positively Life Saving Strategies Personal Development Sleep And How To Rest Better The Power of Positive Thinking Speed Reading Improve Yourself Dating & Relationships Ten Ways to Change Your Life Learn Chinese Hypnosis Feng Shui Anger Self Improvement Subliminal Tapes Business Self Starters Coaching Programs Today Popular Marketplace Items Self Improvement with Yoga Brain Juicer Brainstorming Breaking Bad Habits Self-Help Success Tips Shared Road To Success Self-Defense For Women Tatoos Law Of Attraction Positive Self Talk Personal Development Time Management Tips Eliminating Stress & Anxiety Manage Time Create More Time Procrastination Self Improvement Therapy Self Development Losing Weight Overcoming Fear Of Spiders Law Of Attraction Getting A Life Time Management Stress Management Self Confidence Self Improvement Self Esteem Positive Thinking Motivation Life Coach Leadership Development Happiness Goal Setting Emotional Intelligence Creativity Communication Skills Anger Management Public Speaking